For the love of all that is holy...
Those are Lindsey Lohan's grubby fingers up there. Without speculating (out loud) about why her hands are so craptastic, I thought we could at least discuss how to disguise your own talons when they're less than stellar.
You have probably been in this situation before: you've got somewhere to be (soon!) and with time ticking away you glance down and see the horror that is your chipped-ass polish or manky, ragged, yellowed nails courtesy of your vampy polish habit. What to do!?
Keep reading... [Linds, we mean you!]
There are a few things that can cause last-minute panic when it comes to nails. Let's talk about 'em one at a time...
- Stained nails.
Why:
-Smoking is a big culprit (what's it going to take to get you to quit already?!).
-Dark polish or consistent polish use.
-Sometimes funguseses fungi can stain nails. If you suspect that may be your issue, have a chat with your doctor.
Ways to deal:- Natural girls will want to try Mother Nature's stain-remover: lemon juice. Rub fingernails directly into a lemon half, or squeeze out the juice and soak. You'll want to go for 5 minutes, and repeat if necessary. Watch out: it can sting if you've got any cuts!
- A lot of folks say the way to go is denture tablets. Drop 'em in water, let 'em dissolve, and soak for 10 minutes. Some other people use whitening toothpaste and let that sink in, buff, and wash.
-Buff GENTLY. I like this buffer, which also softens any ridges your nails may have.
-Jessica Cosmetics makes an amazing Nail Whitener that The Nail Ninja reviewed here. It smooths the keratin layer of the nail and also contains some blue optical magic that really makes a difference.
Prevent:
-Quit the fags. Smoking is narsty.
-Wear a base coat always, not just with dark polishes.
-Take polish breaks to let the nails breathe.
On the fly:
What I do when I realize I have to go naked but my nails aren't in fighting shape: I remove any residual polish, quickly buff the nails and then wash my hands, the throw on a layer or two of the Jessica Nail Whitener. Takes less than 5 minutes, and makes a huge difference. Are you paying attention, Lindsey?! - Ratty manicure.
Why?
I don't know why your nails look crappy. If you're anything like me, it's probably because you're life is going at a pace that exceeds your ability to take care of every-damn-thing-at-once.How to deal:
- Minor chips can sometimes be fixed by dabbing a bit of polish on the chip, waiting a few minutes and then painting another coat of polish over the whole nail. No, a close-up won't look great, but at least your chips won't be spotted from across the room.
Extra Cool Bonus Tip: dip a fingerpad in a bit of polish remover and pat it on the chip to melt the edges before following the steps above.
-Remove the polish on all fingers and start again!
-Try Orly Smudge Fixer on top of the chip to soften it, then touch-up with polish over it if needed.
Prevent:
- Find the base coat / top coat combo that works best for you. They seem to vary in efficacy according to skin or nail chemistry and the polishes you use with them.
- "Wrap the tips". Meaning: when you apply your polish, pull some over the free edge and under the nail. Many swear this is The Key to Life.
- Wear gloves when doing dishes or cleaning. Better yet, hire a maid and butler.
- Every other day, apply a top coat.
On the fly:
Seriously? I have at times resorted to a "Band-aid" on the jacked-up finger (which is one reason you'll find one in my purse at all times). If the whole shebang is a disaster and I need to look presentable I am most likely going to remove the polish, buff, and slap on some JJessica Nail Whitener. Then I hydrate the cuticles with oil and lotion, which helps keep everything healthy-looking.Lindsey's craptastic nails - image source