Dear Janet Jackson,
I see how it could happen. I believe you.
The same thing happened to me yesterday, only not with Justin Timberlake. Or millions of people watching. Or pasties. Or background dancers. Or the overacting. OK, it wasn't the same at all.
I was just bumming around the house, you understand, and wearing an oversized sundress (oversized after my recent weightloss HIGHFIVE!). My bras were all in the wash, except for that one that pokes me in the underarm with its underwire, which is totally underthrilling.
A quick rumage through the dresser yielded only a tube of fabric meant to bridge the gap between shirt, muffin top, and pants. The one I had was a maternity style. I tried it once and it kept curling up, leaving me with a shirt, a pregnant muffin top, pants and a curled up tube of fabic. I see why these are popular! It increased the unattractiveness of my midsection by 25%!
I looked. I considered. I figured, what the hell? It looks like those tubes they sell as bras. I've worn those bra ones before, and they worked fine. Fine enough for hanging around the house in a sundress.
Only, it turns out they're not the same at all...
Luckily the superbowl crowd has been distracted and are intently watching pre-season shennanigans, so when I bent over to pick up the toys that had been unceremoniously tossed into the corner and the girls* popped out (like, all of the way), no one was there to put it all on YouTube and get me all sorts of attention and make me the number one Google and top video and increase my fame (from zero) and invariably give me more hits on this blog and certainly garner me some fashion swag and... wait... where the hell were the cameras? I need a redo!
*When I say "girls" I mean "breasts/boobs/tatas/jubblies/knockers/tig bitties" and not my daughters. Because keeping my daughters in my dress would be weird. And unwieldy.
Please share your wardrobe malfunctions with me, while I try to put these bad boys back in this sack of a dress... It will make me feel better about blowing my chance at fame.